Q: Thanks for creating the videos and posting on YouTube.
C: You are very welcome.
Q: I felt an urge to share 'my story' with you. I have been confused of late as being seems to very gradually take over. I trained to be a medical doctor but resigned from residency training because I was clearly losing myself in the process and having desires for life's circumstances to be other than they were. I was depressed, burnt-out, self-sabotaging and in denial.
C: Watch the mind here. IT assigns "cause and effect" where none actually exists. Every time the mind-brain claims "this happened BECAUSE that happened" there are lies being told that ignore the Space you are, and worse yet, these thought-stories are believed to be real and to relate to and even BE what we are. This is absolutely false. Where is the evidence for these assertions? Only in more thoughts, all seeming related but not related in FACT. The ONLY Fact operating anytime or anywhere is, "I AM." You ARE and you know that, with absolutely NO proof, NO language, NO mind, NO belief. The belief "I AM" is NO MORE the TRUE I AM-Ness than the word water will wet anything or quench thirst. Get this part straight first.
A great example of this delusion is contained in the ancient text of Yoga Vasistha. An oft-recurring expression in this scripture is 'kakataliya' - a crow alights on the coconut palm tree and at that very moment a ripe coconut falls. The two unrelated events thus seem to be related in time and space, though there is no causal relationship. Such is life. Such is 'creation'. But the mind caught up in its own trap of logic questions why, invents a 'why' and a 'wherefore' [i.e. a ‘because’] to satisfy itself, conveniently ignoring the inconvenient questions that still haunt an intelligent mind. Vasistha demands direct observation of the mind, its motion, its notions, its reasoning, the assumed cause and the projected result, and even the observer, the observed and the observation-and the realization of their indivisible unity as the infinite consciousness.
Q: It is coming on a year of personal change/alignment and a greater sense of peace has certainly come in to awareness. I realize that I was looking outside for something what was not missing.
C: That has nothing to do with what is pointed to here, which is absolute nondual awareness-presence. There is no such thing as ‘more” awareness! Awareness is actually NON-conceptual stateless Being and is never absent. Not being an “object” there can be no “more” or “less” awareness. In final “seeing”, which is what IS right here and right now, and appearing AS the knowingness "I AM", all there IS is Awareness, appearing AS Consciousness. Consciousness (I AM) appears IN Awareness and is MADE OF that self-knowing, self shining self-same Awareness. That’s all there is.
Q: I fear that I will continue to do the same thing under stress. I feel far more grounded in the body, far less need for imaginary successes. I feel a strong pull towards work that will allow me to pay $200,000+ in loans. It feels as though going through the conventional medical system nearly requires a greater identification with the 'me', stress, suffering.
C: And exactly what IS this “I or me”? What is it made of? Is “it” really a separate thing apart from Awareness? If so take a picture of that “I or me” and e-mail it to me! There certainly are THOUGHTS of a “me” or an “I” but once again a thought of an "I" is no more that True I-Consciousness which appears in Awareness as an aspect of Awareness than the word “water” is the real wet stuff! Not seeing this, or in other words accepting the thought as the reality, is called delusion. Inquire into this “I or me”. What is the SOURCE of these thoughts? Who is it that believes and accepts a mere THOUGHT as the True I Aware-Conscious Self? Who AM I? What am I? Where am I really!? ASK these questions, and accept NO answer: As Sri Nisargadatta pointed out, ask NO other question except “Who Am I?” and accept NO other thought but “I AM”. This knowing-being “I AM” is the closest the brain-mind-machinery can get to the Non-Conceptual Is-ness, the True-I-Am. That which we ARE is prior to, and beyond, ANY and ALL concepts (including “feelings” and “emotions”.)
Only YOU can investigate the false identity and dismantle it. Whether “you” will do so is a matter of what the sages call “grace”. The gift of grace begins in my view with GIVING UP ALL YOUR KNOWING, EXCEPT THE BEING-KNOWING, "I AM". The GIFT of Unknowing is the full stop that arises in starting from the FACT of your very Being, expressed as I AM, and completes itself in the investigation of the assumption of being a separate entity apart from wholeness and rediscovering that no such entity has ever existed, not within “you” or anyone else. As the Buddha is purported to have said, “Actions happen, deeds are done, but there is NO individual ‘doer’, not in you are in anyone else. Final enlightenment consist in this direct and immediate apperception: I AM, and That I Am is all there is was or will be in this dream of “Time and Space! That’s IT, my friend. Let that sink in all the way.
Q: I am quite cut off from the world despite being rather extroverted and adventure seeking previously. It is okay. I have not been taking action towards any goals outside of moving towards the truth, reading, being. This is also intuitively okay. At times, the 'me' feels an urgency to 'get somewhere' so I can take 'meaningful and goal-oriented action' to help explain myself to others and earn love/admiration and security.
C: Reread the above, out loud, a few times, and see what sees what is read, see who is seeing-hearing-knowing-perceiving. You are the Emptiness of open, pure Awareness-Being-Love. Love yourself as you are and are not. Please! And let the Teaching work on you. Take it easy. Take it slow, and just BE with what shows up. Okay?
Q: These are some 'truths' that seem hard to fully realize: there is no separate self. There is nothing in the future to fear. There is no need to create a self to earn anything in the world (particularly love and money).
C: These are apperceptions that HAPPEN; they are not “realized by the person (which ‘person’ is ONLY a False-yet- believed-thought with NO actual existence in the What-Is that you TRULY are. Make sure this is clear! Drop all expectations, efforts, and beliefs and simply LOOK. Investigate the false self-center, but do not make a big deal of it. Be gently loving as best you can (as best as Totality allows you to, that is!) Know that YOU ARE the Love, Fearlessness and Freedom you may be seeking. As so many have reaffirmed, the seeker is The One in search of its own Self. You ARE That. Full Stop.
Q: I wanted to share with you. I would love to hear your thoughts.
C: Thanks again for writing. Let’s see how the above does as you ponder lovingly, and please feel free to get in touch as the One moved you to. Much Love to you, my friend!
Charlie
PS: To paraphrase Sri Ramana Maharshi: The inquiry (thought) 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like a stick used for stirring a burning fire, that thought itself will also in the end be destroyed. Then, there will arise what is already fully Present here-and-now: The Eternal State, realized at once as What You already always ARE.
“I AM not speaking to any body; I AM not speaking to any mind. I AM speaking to THAT I AM, that I AM. To that PRESENCE AWARENESS that expresses through the mind as the thought I AM. Just THIS, NOTHING else.” ~ Bob Adamson
"All that is necessary is to see through the concept of Self as limited. Where does that limitation manifest? Only in a persistent and stubborn assumption." ~Randall Friend
C: You are very welcome.
Q: I felt an urge to share 'my story' with you. I have been confused of late as being seems to very gradually take over. I trained to be a medical doctor but resigned from residency training because I was clearly losing myself in the process and having desires for life's circumstances to be other than they were. I was depressed, burnt-out, self-sabotaging and in denial.
C: Watch the mind here. IT assigns "cause and effect" where none actually exists. Every time the mind-brain claims "this happened BECAUSE that happened" there are lies being told that ignore the Space you are, and worse yet, these thought-stories are believed to be real and to relate to and even BE what we are. This is absolutely false. Where is the evidence for these assertions? Only in more thoughts, all seeming related but not related in FACT. The ONLY Fact operating anytime or anywhere is, "I AM." You ARE and you know that, with absolutely NO proof, NO language, NO mind, NO belief. The belief "I AM" is NO MORE the TRUE I AM-Ness than the word water will wet anything or quench thirst. Get this part straight first.
A great example of this delusion is contained in the ancient text of Yoga Vasistha. An oft-recurring expression in this scripture is 'kakataliya' - a crow alights on the coconut palm tree and at that very moment a ripe coconut falls. The two unrelated events thus seem to be related in time and space, though there is no causal relationship. Such is life. Such is 'creation'. But the mind caught up in its own trap of logic questions why, invents a 'why' and a 'wherefore' [i.e. a ‘because’] to satisfy itself, conveniently ignoring the inconvenient questions that still haunt an intelligent mind. Vasistha demands direct observation of the mind, its motion, its notions, its reasoning, the assumed cause and the projected result, and even the observer, the observed and the observation-and the realization of their indivisible unity as the infinite consciousness.
Q: It is coming on a year of personal change/alignment and a greater sense of peace has certainly come in to awareness. I realize that I was looking outside for something what was not missing.
C: That has nothing to do with what is pointed to here, which is absolute nondual awareness-presence. There is no such thing as ‘more” awareness! Awareness is actually NON-conceptual stateless Being and is never absent. Not being an “object” there can be no “more” or “less” awareness. In final “seeing”, which is what IS right here and right now, and appearing AS the knowingness "I AM", all there IS is Awareness, appearing AS Consciousness. Consciousness (I AM) appears IN Awareness and is MADE OF that self-knowing, self shining self-same Awareness. That’s all there is.
Q: I fear that I will continue to do the same thing under stress. I feel far more grounded in the body, far less need for imaginary successes. I feel a strong pull towards work that will allow me to pay $200,000+ in loans. It feels as though going through the conventional medical system nearly requires a greater identification with the 'me', stress, suffering.
C: And exactly what IS this “I or me”? What is it made of? Is “it” really a separate thing apart from Awareness? If so take a picture of that “I or me” and e-mail it to me! There certainly are THOUGHTS of a “me” or an “I” but once again a thought of an "I" is no more that True I-Consciousness which appears in Awareness as an aspect of Awareness than the word “water” is the real wet stuff! Not seeing this, or in other words accepting the thought as the reality, is called delusion. Inquire into this “I or me”. What is the SOURCE of these thoughts? Who is it that believes and accepts a mere THOUGHT as the True I Aware-Conscious Self? Who AM I? What am I? Where am I really!? ASK these questions, and accept NO answer: As Sri Nisargadatta pointed out, ask NO other question except “Who Am I?” and accept NO other thought but “I AM”. This knowing-being “I AM” is the closest the brain-mind-machinery can get to the Non-Conceptual Is-ness, the True-I-Am. That which we ARE is prior to, and beyond, ANY and ALL concepts (including “feelings” and “emotions”.)
Only YOU can investigate the false identity and dismantle it. Whether “you” will do so is a matter of what the sages call “grace”. The gift of grace begins in my view with GIVING UP ALL YOUR KNOWING, EXCEPT THE BEING-KNOWING, "I AM". The GIFT of Unknowing is the full stop that arises in starting from the FACT of your very Being, expressed as I AM, and completes itself in the investigation of the assumption of being a separate entity apart from wholeness and rediscovering that no such entity has ever existed, not within “you” or anyone else. As the Buddha is purported to have said, “Actions happen, deeds are done, but there is NO individual ‘doer’, not in you are in anyone else. Final enlightenment consist in this direct and immediate apperception: I AM, and That I Am is all there is was or will be in this dream of “Time and Space! That’s IT, my friend. Let that sink in all the way.
Q: I am quite cut off from the world despite being rather extroverted and adventure seeking previously. It is okay. I have not been taking action towards any goals outside of moving towards the truth, reading, being. This is also intuitively okay. At times, the 'me' feels an urgency to 'get somewhere' so I can take 'meaningful and goal-oriented action' to help explain myself to others and earn love/admiration and security.
C: Reread the above, out loud, a few times, and see what sees what is read, see who is seeing-hearing-knowing-perceiving. You are the Emptiness of open, pure Awareness-Being-Love. Love yourself as you are and are not. Please! And let the Teaching work on you. Take it easy. Take it slow, and just BE with what shows up. Okay?
Q: These are some 'truths' that seem hard to fully realize: there is no separate self. There is nothing in the future to fear. There is no need to create a self to earn anything in the world (particularly love and money).
C: These are apperceptions that HAPPEN; they are not “realized by the person (which ‘person’ is ONLY a False-yet- believed-thought with NO actual existence in the What-Is that you TRULY are. Make sure this is clear! Drop all expectations, efforts, and beliefs and simply LOOK. Investigate the false self-center, but do not make a big deal of it. Be gently loving as best you can (as best as Totality allows you to, that is!) Know that YOU ARE the Love, Fearlessness and Freedom you may be seeking. As so many have reaffirmed, the seeker is The One in search of its own Self. You ARE That. Full Stop.
Q: I wanted to share with you. I would love to hear your thoughts.
C: Thanks again for writing. Let’s see how the above does as you ponder lovingly, and please feel free to get in touch as the One moved you to. Much Love to you, my friend!
Charlie
PS: To paraphrase Sri Ramana Maharshi: The inquiry (thought) 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like a stick used for stirring a burning fire, that thought itself will also in the end be destroyed. Then, there will arise what is already fully Present here-and-now: The Eternal State, realized at once as What You already always ARE.
“I AM not speaking to any body; I AM not speaking to any mind. I AM speaking to THAT I AM, that I AM. To that PRESENCE AWARENESS that expresses through the mind as the thought I AM. Just THIS, NOTHING else.” ~ Bob Adamson
"All that is necessary is to see through the concept of Self as limited. Where does that limitation manifest? Only in a persistent and stubborn assumption." ~Randall Friend
